“For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.”
We are a small group of bereaved parents who have all lost babies at different stages. Whilst our circumstances may be very different, we share in common one thing that we wish we did not. The loss of a very precious child. Grief can be a lonely place to be and it’s often difficult to describe the devastating emotions that follow. You don’t need to be alone. HUGS has been set up to offer comfort to bereaved parents through Help, Understanding, Guidance and Support. We offer a range of services. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch if we can help.
You can find our stories about our precious children below.
Our son Isaac was born on Wednesday 12th March 2014 at 11.26 pm weighing 4 lbs 11 1/2 oz.
He was taken from us before we heard his first cry or looked into his beautiful eyes. I was taken in to hospital on Wed 12th March with extremely low blood sugar levels. After having blood tests they realised something was very wrong. I remember being taken into a small room for scan and being told that they could not find baby’s heartbeat, we were devastated.
I have vague flashes of memories but nothing lasting more than a few seconds at a time. When I woke up it was the middle of the night, it was dark & I had no glasses so I couldn’t see properly, it was 2.30 am and I was told that Richard my Husband would be back at 6.30 am to see me. I thought I had just woken up from having the C-Section however I had been in a coma for a week. I had, had so many medical problems over that week and it was so very close for me, the hospital did the most amazing job but unfortunately it was too late for our baby. I was 35 weeks pregnant on the day we had him and I was due to have him at 38 weeks.
I finally got to meet Isaac on Monday 24th March, 12 days after he was born, he was perfect. The reason I got to meet my baby was due to charities like HUGS, one of the things they do is to supply cuddle cots (cold cots) to hospitals, giving parents the opportunity to spend the time they need with their baby. I can’t imagine the pain and suffering it would have caused me had I not been able to meet and cuddle him, it is unbearable to think about. To recover from all of the medical problems and be told I could not meet my baby would have been so hard to bear and I am so grateful that this was not the case.
I’m Bex, I’m married and I have a lovely little girl who was looking forward to being a big sister. My second pregnancy was different to my first in every way possible. In my first I was a picture of health. No problems at all. My second however, morning sickness from the start, hip pain that meant I couldn’t walk far towards the end (thank goodness for online shopping) my tummy muscles tore giving me very little support and was very uncomfortable but baby Charlotte was ok so that was fine. Until I haemorrhaged at home that was. I stood up from the sofa and thought my waters had gone but it wasn’t water. My hubby was at work, and 45 minutes away, I was scared, I called an ambulance, my mum came to look after my little girl and off I went to hospital, I was unaware at that point that my baby had passed. I thought I would be whisked down for a c section, but I wasn’t. They took me to a room to scan me. They already knew. My hubby had caught up with us at this point. They scanned, and scanned, no movement, “come Charlotte, where are you” I actually said it loud, as the reality started to sink in. They went to get a Dr. I knew. Then the words came.
Over thirty years later and after the loss of a good friends baby, I realised that my experience could help me to support other families going through their own personal grief., hence my personal commitment to ‘HUGS’.
Even when delivering our little boy I hoped and prayed that he would start breathing and that we would hold him as he cried. Oh to have a cry, any noise, anything which showed that he was alive!
We were expecting our second child, I’d had a great pregnancy. I felt healthy and had attended all my appointments. Two days before my due date I had visited my midwife, all was fine. However the following night I began to feel like my movements had reduced. The next morning, my due date, I went to the hospital to be monitored. This was where our whole world came crashing down when we were told that our baby had no heartbeat. I cannot put into words how devastated we were. I stayed in hospital from then and was induced later that day. I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy Jack at 1.40am on 15th May 2015. Jack weighed 7lb 13oz, with no obvious signs as to why he had died.
We received Jack’s post mortem results on 19th August 2015. An extremely tough day… There were no answers, nor explanations as to why Jack died, all we know was he was starved of oxygen in some way 12-24 hours before he was born. It was such mixed feelings, as I wanted answers, however so scared that we would be told something that could have been prevented or something that could affect the future.
On 4th May 2016, our third baby Charlie Jude was born safely into the world. He is a joy and we are so lucky that we have been able to add to our family. However we miss Jack desperately and think about him every single day.
As a family we talk about Jack all the time and for us this is so important, he is such a huge part of our lives. As Gracie and Charlie grow up, they will know and learn all about Jack and his memory will live on in them.