“For those who understand, no explanation is needed. For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.”
We are a small group who have all been affected by the loss of a baby, either our own baby, a grandchild or a close family member. Whilst our circumstances may be very different, we share in common one thing that we wish we did not. The loss of a very precious child. Grief can be a lonely place to be and it’s often difficult to describe the devastating emotions that follow. You don’t need to be alone. HUGS has been set up to offer comfort to bereaved parents through Help, Understanding, Guidance and Support. We offer a range of services. Please don’t hesitate to get in touch if we can help.
You can find our stories about our precious children below.
I’m Bex, I’m married and I have a lovely Daughter who was looking forward to being a big sister. My second pregnancy was different to my first in every way possible. In my first I was a picture of health. No problems at all. My second however, morning sickness from the start, hip pain that meant I couldn’t walk far towards the end (thank goodness for online shopping) my tummy muscles tore giving me very little support and was very uncomfortable but baby Charlotte was ok so that was fine. Until I haemorrhaged at home that was. I stood up from the sofa and thought my waters had gone but it wasn’t water. My hubby was at work, and 45 minutes away, I was scared, I called an ambulance, my mum came to look after my little girl and off I went to hospital, I was unaware at that point that my baby had passed. I thought I would be whisked down for a c section, but I wasn’t. They took me to a room to scan me. They already knew. My hubby had caught up with us at this point. They scanned, and scanned, no movement, “come Charlotte, where are you” I actually said it loud, as the reality started to sink in. They went to get a Dr. I knew. Then the words came.
Over thirty years later and after the loss of a good friends baby, I realised that my experience could help me to support other families going through their own personal grief., hence my personal commitment to ‘HUGS’.
Our Granddaughter Charlotte May was born sleeping in June 2014 weighing 8lbs 1 1/2 oz. Perfect in every way. We were able to cuddle and love Charlotte but we never heard her cry. We looked at our beautiful granddaughter hoping she would open her eyes and cry, this was not to be.
No Mum & Dad should have to watch their Daughter and Son in law go through the heartache they had to endure, trying to comfort their other daughter and trying to get life back to normal but carrying such huge pain instead of their newborn baby, and we couldn’t really help.
There isn’t a day that goes by that we don’t think or talk about Charlotte May, wondering what she would be like now. Birthdays and christmas are painful not being able to see her excited and opening her presents with her sister.
Bex & Dave received a memory box which enabled them to make beautiful precious memories of Charlotte May which they treasure so much. Although I can never take away other families pain , I thought I could help by becoming a trustee of hugs and take an active role in fundraising and knitting co-ordinator to help other families make precious memories.
I have become a trustee of hugs and whilst I can’t begin to imagine the heartache of losing a baby I’ve seen the sadness and affect it has on families. My sister in law Sue lost her beautiful baby boy James on the 12th april 2003 and I know how heart breaking it was for her and the rest of the family and how every birthday or milestone that should have been reached brings it all back. So when I was asked if I would help in making some blankets for the memory boxes i was only too pleased to help and often think of James whilst making them. I hope that my contribution gives comfort in some small way at a very difficult time.
We were expecting our second child, I’d had a great pregnancy. I felt healthy and had attended all my appointments. Two days before my due date I had visited my midwife, all was fine. However the following night I began to feel like my movements had reduced. The next morning, my due date, I went to the hospital to be monitored. This was where our whole world came crashing down when we were told that our baby had no heartbeat. I cannot put into words how devastated we were. I stayed in hospital from then and was induced later that day. I gave birth to our beautiful baby boy Jack at 1.40am on 15th May 2015. Jack weighed 7lb 13oz, with no obvious signs as to why he had died.
We received Jack’s post mortem results on 19th August 2015. An extremely tough day… There were no answers, nor explanations as to why Jack died, all we know was he was starved of oxygen in some way 12-24 hours before he was born. It was such mixed feelings, as I wanted answers, however so scared that we would be told something that could have been prevented or something that could affect the future.
On 4th May 2016, our third baby Charlie Jude was born safely into the world. He is a joy and we are so lucky that we have been able to add to our family. However we miss Jack desperately and think about him every single day.
As a family we talk about Jack all the time and for us this is so important, he is such a huge part of our lives. As Gracie and Charlie grow up, they will know and learn all about Jack and his memory will live on in them.
Our very grateful thanks go to Deb our founder chairwoman. After experiencing the devastating loss of her baby boy Isaac, Deb was instrumental in setting up HUGS and was also responsible for our beautiful name. Thank you, Deb, for all your hard work and commitment.